A man that has kids is probably reluctant to have more kids, especially if it’s the 2nd time around.
He may even kick his feet in and say an outright no.
You have 2 choices
- Stay and hope he changes his mind
- Get on with having a child of your own
That feeling of needing to have a baby or be a Mom is an emotional and physical one and it won’t go away. You can try and convince yourself that it doesn’t matter. It will be like a quiet unspoken air that hangs around you. It won’t disappear. You can try filling the void with other people’s children, a puppy, a new top…It won’t just dissolve. He may come round to the idea of you having a baby or he may not. This was my starting point.
You are not getting younger and with age, come many pregnancy complications. You will not change wanting a baby; we are physiologically wired to procreate and to want to be a mother. Do yourself a favour first, find out where/ what/ how and start to learn about how you could go about having a baby. When you start the process, you won’t feel so helpless.
Your partner may come round during this process or you may meet a man after baby is born. You won’t change your partner’s mind, he needs to change it himself. Don’t throw tantrums, have fights…it’s all been done before and it won’t help you. Don’t put him under pressure to decide between you and a baby, just go ahead with it. Just start the process of #IVF yourself. Sperm Donors are available through agencies. Keep your mind and body relaxed.
If you want to fall pregnant, you need to be calm and peaceful within yourself or you will be wasting a lot of time, energy and money. If you are stressed or within a stressed environment, your body produces Cortisol, a crucial hormone that protects our health and well-being. If you have too much, you can compromise your chances of falling pregnant.
If you need to go it alone, get a strong support group in place where everyone you assign has a key role e.g. Mom comes to all your appointments etc. Sister will babysit etc. Try get a place to stay where you are in a calm environment.
Good luck and remember….
You are not alone!