Perhaps you have tried IVF a couple of times, even using an egg donor once or twice. Maybe you’re in your 40’s. These are all reasons to start thinking about moving into surrogacy.
It is another hard step to take but you need to look at your options and the benefits with each new phase you enter into. Just know that the initial thought may be too hurtful to consider but just let the idea settle in.
Surrogacy is when someone else carries the baby for you. They are called a Surrogate. They can use either your eggs or a donor’s egg. If they use their own, this changes everything as according to SA legislation, if they carry and use their eggs then they have 3 months after the birth to decide if they want to keep the baby. This is such a risk. I would rather suggest an egg donor as then you could follow the normal route where the baby is yours after birth. For this route, you need to get an ‘adoption’ through the High Court before you even embark upon the physical process. It is a long road but just keep focused on the goal…to have your own baby!
Once on this journey, you may initially feel like you are being left out of the process. You’ve been so integral and involved in all the steps with egg retrieval, implant etc that it can leave you with a sense of loosing control and being an outsider. Again, just reassure yourself that everyone is coming together to help you and that you are still very much in the centre, just in a different way.
You will miss out on bad hormones, stretch marks, baby weight and more. You need to focus on the benefits. You can get tablets to bring on milk so once you get your baby, you could possibly look o breastfeeding yourself. How great – to bond instantly with your little one. A real Mom!
The goal is to have a child and the baby will be yours. Once it is in your arms, you will have instantly forgotten all the pain, effort and hardship it took to get to this point.
And remember, you are not alone!