There are a few scenario’s that could lead you to require using an egg from an egg donor. If you find yourself in this position of choosing to use an egg donor, here are some tips on choosing an egg donor that you may find useful.
Some scenario’s where you might consider an egg donor could include:
- Age – if you’re in your 40’s (maybe late 30’s), have tried fertility treatments and been unsuccessful
- You may have a genetic condition that you don’t want to pass on to your child
- You don’t produce eggs or the quality isn’t great
- You keep having miscarriages
what makes a good egg donor?
An egg donor that’s in her early 20’s is optimum. They typically produce many eggs which are of a higher quality that an older persons eggs. You can try using eggs from a friend or a family member. It’s a lot of pressure you place on them and consider what you’d be asking them to go through.
It is for this reason that an egg donation is typically done through an agency, where you select an egg donor from the various profiles. There are many egg donor agencies around, so it’s best to contact a reputable fertility clinic and ask them who they would recommend. Two South African agencies that I’ve worked with are Sunshine Egg Donors and ABabySA.
In South Africa, the profiles will typically give you the egg donor photos as a baby (no adult photos allowed so as to protect their identity), their family history on mental and physical health, height, weight, hair and eye colour. You also get a short description of why they want to help you, their personality and interests.
Questions to ask egg donor agency would include their feedback on the top 3 profiles that you choose. Ask about their egg donor live birth success rate through other families and also what the egg donor was like when they met them.
You may start off placing weight on their baby photo and ‘looks’ to see if they would blend with your appearances but realistically, its the medical side you should be most concerned with. In the field of Epi-genetics, latest findings reveal that the carrying mother passes on to the baby a much larger DNA fingerprint that was previously believed. You want a healthy baby foremost so concern yourself with the donor’s medical history more importantly. Keep in mind, your partner’s genes will also carry through familiar body and facial features.
It’s a challenging paradigm shift to come to terms with having to use someone else’s eggs instead of your own. But it is what it is and we can be thankful for these wonderful, unselfish life-giving donors.
On the bright side:
- Your baby will be healthy
- You wont need all the IVF tummy injections and all the scans
- You will be growing your baby from your own body and feeding it from yourself
- You will still be able to carry your own baby, feel it kick in your womb and give birth yourself
The greatest result of all, is that you will have your baby and it will be yours!
You are not alone!