#IVF Life’s holding pattern

When you’re going through infertility or in vitro fertilization, not only are your emotions high, your energy levels low, which leaves you without the will to take on anything new let alone change anything in your life. You never know what part of the fertility and ivf treatment process you may be in and the associated timing of it. So trying to make a plan, even if you wanted to, is near impossible.

Life can feel stagnant and as if, you are in a holding pattern.

There are always too many steps involved in each ivf procedure to be able to know when to even plan a holiday, let alone dinner plans. From one cycle to the next, one scan or blood test to the next, each one determining the next appointment, you feel like the ivf process is running your diary and your life! It is. Even if you take a long term view, what if you are pregnant – could you be in the first trimester? In which case, sorry – no travel! Or, if the next round doesn’t work, surely you might be trying again before that holiday date. On and on it goes. The irony is that it’s teaching a new attitude of living in the moment.

If you sometimes feel like you lack motivation and drive, maybe it’s being caused by this ‘holding pattern’, where you are a slave to the mysterious timings of the process.

You can be left feeling socially barren too!

Your focus is controlled by your heats greatest desire for a baby. You only have so much energy and you need to use this on yourself, keeping your spirits up, your relationship going and just functioning.


  • Don’t add extra pressure on yourself with other negative pressure or thoughts
  • This is a phase of my life which will pass
  • Judging yourself, your popularity, or anything else at this time is of no use
  • Keep your eye on the prize… your own baby!

Who knows, after you little one finally arrives and you add to the ivf success rate, you’ll probably be exhausted by all those play dates that you need to book into your diary so enjoy just take the time and space you need for this part of the journey. Keep it as simple as you can.

Feel welcome to send me an email (cathy@ivfsupport.co.za) or Facebook message (https://www.facebook.com/IVFSupportSA/) should you have any further questions.

And remember, you are not alone!




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