No one and nothing can prepare you for it. You can’t even prepare yourself. Whatever form it presents itself in, you feel it. It’s FEAR!
Optimistic and happy that you have got yourself to implant stage, it all feels very real and tangible. Yet, you are vulnerability and the fear can be absolutely debilitating.
You’ve been through scan after scan, and blood test after blood test. New meds, added meds, tummy injections, suppositories, hormonal changes and mood swings, the list goes on and on. The stakes are so high. Not to mention the financial investment that you’ve made. Is it any wonder that from the moment of implant, you live in a state of fear – consciously and unconsciously? All the ‘what if’s’ start haunting you. You are trying to feel your body more closely than ever before – looking for signs that it’s ‘taken’. Constant chattering in your head… ‘are my breasts sore – I heard they should be if you’re pregnant’, ‘do I feel a flutter’ and the mind goes on and on. None of these questions can we answer ourselves. We just have to wait for the blood test results. Now, try waiting the agonising 10 days, and people telling you not to think about it. Yeah, right! You are walking an emotional tightrope.
So if you get a positive blood test result, which will bring you to your knees, you then need to wait another 2 days to repeat the blood test to see if the HCG levels are indeed raised. This is all classified as STEP 1.
How does one get to the 6 week scan, let alone 9 months. Will one ever fully enjoy being pregnant or just living in a constant state of fear of the next set of results? Conversely, the blood result is a negative…sorry, start from the beginning again.
I have had a hard time here very recently, so I’ve really had to look deep within myself to get the tips that I can share with you.
Here they are:
- You can’t escape it. Sorry ladies, but the fear is built into this process. So if you know of it, maybe it will prepare you better.
- Before you embark on a round of fertility treatment, get your husband to sit with you and discuss how best he should help you when you are feeling completely spun out. Get him to commit to keeping you as calm as possible. Have a place or a something that he can take you to, or do for you, to help you. To avoid your partner feeling helpless, you need you to spell it out to them. I live near the beach and have a favourite spot. I asked my husband to take me there if he felt I needed his support.
- Try and do daily 10min Meditations – free on YouTube
- Keep a daily “gratitude list” where you write down a few things that make you feel blessed and grateful. This can lift your mood and change your attitude.
And remember, you are not alone.